Monday, May 13, 2013


What is the point of romantic love? Is it to procreate? Yes, partially. Is it to ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after? Hell no! Is it to learn lessons and grow as individuals? I would agree with that. Ultimately though, I believe that romance is less about flowers, diamonds, and cuddling and more about two people coming together to fulfill their life's mission. This mission could be shared or it could be two separate purposes.

In mine and Ben's case, it was two separate missions. His was to have a family and a nice home. From the time I met him he was extremely clear about his purpose. He said to me, "My life starts the day my first child is born". I admired his clarity on this. He knew what he wanted and he was going for it.

I, on the other hand, had no such intentions. I had always known that I was here for a reason, but I didn't quite know what that reason was. I knew helping people, the earth, and animals were all a part of my mission, but the details were unclear. I also knew (or so I thought) that being a wife and mother was not a part of my purpose this lifetime. I was wrong!

So Ben and I came together. Two people with two extremely different purposes. Everyone wondered why we were together. Why would two people with such different opinions and goals choose one another? Why wouldn't we decide instead to be with people more like us, with similar goals? Because it was meant to be. We came together for exactly the right fulfill our life's purposes, together.

Ben needed to find a woman who was decent, loving, and strong enough to raise his child after he passed. His close friend told me that he spoke to him a few days before he died and he was happier than he'd ever been. He had everything he wanted: a wife who loved him dearly, a child on the way, a good job, and a nice, cozy home. His mission was complete.

Now it is time for me to work towards my goals. Ben left me with the resources and reasons to pursue my dreams. I can return to school, get my psychology degree, and become a counselor. I can raise our child with good values and integrity like his father. I can live a life full of purpose.

Even though our romance was cut short, I know we came together for a reason. I know we completed what we needed to accomplish together. We both gave the other access to their life's mission. What greater, more noble reason to be together?

Thank you Ben. I will raise our child to the best of my ability. I will not waste your gifts. I love you eternally.

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